Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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