You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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