Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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