the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
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you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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