Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
