but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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