I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
