Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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