I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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