My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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