i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
