Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
