I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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