Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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