Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Is Oprah even human
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
