Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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