You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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