i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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