my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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