A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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