He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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