He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
