i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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