One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
this hospital has no fireball
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
