and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
