I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize