actually, I'm a sock model
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
