ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
