remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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