But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
