Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
