matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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