Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
