All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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