Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
