Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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