Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
