I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
