It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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