Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
