do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
