I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
