Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
