super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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