Can Purell be used as lube?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
babies were throwing up all over the place
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
