There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
