i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
