I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
