This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
