can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
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Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
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I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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