Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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