Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
