i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
