I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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