halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
