Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
