omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize