i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You made out with two different species that night
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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