the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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