I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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