She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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