The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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