good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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