I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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